The Tide Waits for No-one

Water is such a vital part of life on Earth, like vital for everything and everyone. There is no life form on this planet that can survive without water (to my knowledge). The closest living thing that can survive without water is the Kangaroo Rat and it doesn’t actually drink water but gets it from its food and uses some funky metabolic mechanism to extract water and also carries some pretty concentrated urine, so contracted in fact that it helps them survive without consuming water in the liquid form!!

kangaroo rat
Look at its little face!!!

 

That’s some pretty powerful wee… on a side note, at times you can’t beat a good old wee (hopefully not too old otherwise you may need antibiotics!!) I really hope that in heaven, there are some AMAZING toilets and God will let me have a wee every so often because there is not much that beats a wee and it can be really satisfying!

There is nothing like a clear blue lake or a swimming pool on a really hot day to make you long to enter that water. You see water is so enticing, it is so vital to human life and it can be so, so fun to play with and in yet at the same time it is so powerful, so unreliable, it is a life stealer but it is so, so beautiful.

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Beautiful lake we spent some time at.

 

You see water is something that people can associate things with, memories with in so many different ways. Some may speak fondly of water, for others it may be a fear factor that can reduce people to tears, which if you think about it is actually quite ironic that they are creating something they are scared of out of fear.

I personally love the sound of the waves lapping against the shore, I love the smell of a swimming pool or seeing the sun sparkle on the surface of a body of water and I love playing in water and with water given the right circumstances but also water is one of the main components for something that not a lot of people are fond of… storms.

There is one storm that I will never ever forget which when I think of it, I can just smell the environment and it is literally like I am back there again and that storm was in Uganda. It wasn’t uncommon for us to have to use torch light at any given point after sunset due to power cuts as I was in rural Uganda but this evening we could tell all day a storm was brewing and it was a really hot evening and so after dinner and being out all day, I managed to have a warm-ish shower and then you heard a rumble in the distance and a storm was coming. I have never, ever seen such a beautiful storm in my life.

I was sat on the veranda watching the storm, with the rain pouring down in buckets but the most spectacular lightning I have ever witnessed and in the distance you could hear music playing and things but it was amazing.

I like a storm in the physical sense, when I was a child whenever there was a storm my mum would turn off all the lights and open all the curtains and pull the nets back and we would be at the best window to see the storm and watch the lightning and to this day, when there is a thunderstorm I still do the same as to me, that’s the normal way to deal with a thunderstorm.

Some storms though are not quite welcome and for those storms I will not open the curtains, pull the nets back because those storms, those physical/emotional/spiritual storms are not pleasant and I think like everyone we approach those ones from under the table. You see although things may be tough and those storms are not fun to watch and you don’t want them to remain memorable or a favourite part of your life but from what I can gather, someone has walked the same storm before you but sometimes their rain wasn’t as heavy.

There’s this saying which I am sure everyone knows about life is learning how to dance in the rain and I totally get it and the positive outlook on life and I totally get how liberating dancing in the rain can be because as teenagers, myself and my best friend would dance in the heaviest of rain but sometimes you just need to bow your head and wait out the storm.

bow your head

I remember one time I was getting ready in the morning and I had YouTube playing via my phone (I LOVE YouTube) and I had a mix of different music playing and I would always start off with Hillsong United’s Oceans and I remember being like “God this is my prayer” and I didn’t think anything of it. I also absolutely love the song because it is beautiful but then another time I remember having some quiet time and the home to myself and I was not happy! I didn’t understand why, I didn’t understand how, I was so angry and I was shouting and God and saying this is what you’ve promised me and I don’t understand why for me to get there it has to be so hard.

So I am in this place that is an absolute internal battlefield and my heart and my mind is a battlefield with myself, berating myself but also with God and I kind of had this urge to put YouTube on and I was in my head just saying “NO” “I will NOT play YouTube and I will NOT do what you want, in fact I am going to turn my phone off”!

Umm, so that didn’t go down too well and I felt so bad that I played the flipping song!

Oceans

All though out that song I kept thinking, what if this journey I am on- this journey of infertility that I am facing what God wants for me to journey through so that my faith will be made stronger as I draw towards the presence of my saviour? You see that is a pretty darn hard pill to swallow because that chorus is where I am at. I am learning trust without borders, if I had the choice I wouldn’t even dip my toes in the waters of infertility yet alone paddle and let myself be deeper than my feet could ever wonder.

You see, when people fully submit to God and fully sing Oceans like meaning every word they say- would they still mean it if God showed them even just a snippet of what their ocean may look like?

Some days, I don’t know if I would.

Even when the odd day comes and I feel I can conquer the world I may be a little hesitant.

One thing I do know for sure, is that my faith is being made stronger little by little but that doesn’t make the journey any easier when your heart hurts and your arms ache for something that you don’t know if it is going to work out.

The past few days I have felt like the sun is starting to sparkle on my ocean and its looking fine but other days it is full of great white sharks with blood in the water, lion fish, jelly fish and riptides.

Everybody has a journey and a story to tell and everyone has had their own ocean to deal with and cross and sometimes their ocean can be quite sparkly but to them it may have been an absolutely disaster and they drown whilst a storm was rumbling above the waters but you see, those storms can change at any time and also the storms may pass sooner than anticipated.

I know for sure I need my storm to change and I need a smooth ocean and I also try to remember that God’s plan for my life is more than I could ever grasp hold of and after all this is just a season I am in and I have had personal words from God. I also need to remember that as tough as the time may be and as smooth as my ocean is that the tide wait’s for no-one and nothing I do will determine the tide and nothing anyone can do, will determine the tide but there is one thing that is more than capable of affecting the tide and that one thing is the one who created the heavens and the earth.